Overcoming the back-to-school struggle: A parent’s guide
After a free-spirited summer, where routines are relaxed and bedtimes go out the window, overcoming the back-to-school struggle can be tricky. Adjusting to early alarms and heavy brain work is a lot. Here are some simple ways to make the transition smoother.
Why is my child anxious about going back to school?
Freedom from rigid school structures after what has felt like an endless summer can make school anxiety, or even school refusal, more common. Swapping their own clothes for itchy uniforms, heading back to early starts, and facing long days that take lots of concentration - it’s a big thing to adjust to.
Change can be especially hard for children dealing with ADHD, dyslexia, autism or other types of neurodiversity or learning difficulties. Going from the comforts of home to loud, unpredictable spaces where more is demanded of them can be a trigger for any child. And sometimes reassurance isn’t enough. Luckily, there are lots of ways you can give them a calm, organised start to the new term.
How do executive dysfunction challenges show up at this time?
To us frazzled parents, this might show up in some frustrating ways. Forgetting to bring homework back with them, losing the new pencil case they really wanted, or misplacing important books or worksheets can all be signs they’re struggling with working memory and planning.
They might struggle to be ready in time, seem anxious or frustrated, or procrastinate over seemingly small tasks. On top of that, they might find it hard to focus and miss instructions.
When your child’s worried about school, their ability to process things can take a hit. Their executive function skills, or their brain’s control centre, can become overloaded by stress, making it tough to manage everyday tasks. Before getting irritated, take a deep breath and try the following strategies.
How can I make the first day back easier and less overwhelming?
Ease them back into routine
Think of it this way - in the same way that a climber needs time to adjust to the altitude on a climb, it can help to ease your child back into school so that the change doesn’t feel so extreme. In the last week of the holidays, start getting them to bed earlier and waking them up at school time.
Make a visual school schedule together
Sometimes breaking down the week can help your child feel more organised and in control. Working on a colourful schedule or checklist together can make it all feel way less scary. It’s also a great way to get them thinking more positively about school. Simply changing “Break Time” to “Friend Time” can get them to think differently about their day.
Acknowledge big feelings
Validate their emotions. It’s totally normal for them to feel overwhelmed when school feels new. Encourage them to write down all the things they’re worried about. This can help your child talk through their anxieties with you, so they no longer feel as scary or abstract.
Plan some Friday fun to look forward to
Mark their favourite activity or hobby on the calendar at the end of their first week back. This gives them something positive to look forward to, makes back-to-school week seem shorter and acts as a reward for getting through something difficult.
Paired with encouragement, this can really boost their confidence and show them that they are capable.
Arm them with one small strategy for when you’re not there
Separation anxiety can play a big part in your child’s worries. Teach them one easy coping strategy for if they’re feeling anxious at school.
Box breathing is a simple four-step exercise. Ask them to breathe in for a count of four and imagine one side of a box, then out for a count of four as they imagine the next side. Repeat this two more times. They can even trace the shape with their finger.
It’s a simple way to help calm their nervous system and take their mind off their worries.
If your child continues to struggle with organisation, overwhelm or the demands of school, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. As an executive function coach, I can help you understand what’s getting in the way and find practical strategies that work for your child. Book a free insight call to see how I can help.
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